


Payback Time

by Rexxy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Caught in the Act, M/M, Sirius has no shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:34:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6377269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rexxy/pseuds/Rexxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius walks in on Harry and Draco on his precious sofa, so he has to get payback with Remus... It's the only obvious solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When Sirius walked into his house, the last thing he expected or wanted to walk into was a loud moan of his godson’s name. Unfortunately, it was too late to not see what he had seen and he instantly turned around from the scene before him and covered his eyes with his hands, dropping his shopping back on the floor in the process. Draco Malfoy was sprawled out on his favourite sofa, with his godson hovering over him, both in all their naked glory. They were sliding against each other and snogging like there was no tomorrow, hands sliding up and down each other’s bodies. Clothes were strewn all around the room, with a pair of boxers at his feet that when he noticed he squealed and kicked away, alerting the other two to his presence. He shouted as the offending item of clothing slid across the floor away from him, “For fucks sake Harry! Where is your sense of decency? That is an antique! What if it hadn’t been me who walked in, hm? You didn’t even lock the door! I thought I raised you better than this! How dare you fornicate in my living room!”

During Sirius’ outburst, Harry had quickly thrown on his clothes, save from his boxers, which he couldn’t find. Draco was also quickly buttoning up his shirt as Harry shouted back, “well it isn’t like I’ve never caught you and Remus going at it!”

Sirius turned around, deciding that having an argument with his back turned to his opponent wasn’t very Gryffindor of him. He fixed Harry with a glare and shouted back, “That was completely different and you know it! We were in our bedroom, at night, under the covers, with a silencing charm when you barged in without so much as knocking. I didn’t get laid for a good week after that! You’re doing it right where we all sit and have family interactions and such!”

Harry just threw his arms up and glared back at Sirius. “Don’t you remember what it was like at all to be my age? I bet you and Remus used to do it all the time! Even on your damn precious sofa!”

“Hey, at your age me and Rem were a lovely and graceful couple. We went on dates, held hands, screwed, yes, but behind closed curtains, because we were mindful of those around us. We surely never fucked on the shared furniture, for all to see” Sirius lied, ”and we sure as hell never once got caught, and especially not by our family!” Sirius almost couldn’t say that last part it was so untrue. The Potters caught him and Remus more than anyone. James the most. But that was because he had an unfortunate habit of showing up at the wrong time or just walking into places without announcing himself first, a trait Harry had apparently adopted. But Sirius wasn’t about to tell Harry that and let him win, he loved that damn sofa and now every time he looked he looked at it all he would be able to see is Harry and Draco ruining it.

“Fine, we’ll be more careful from now on. I suppose it wouldn’t be fair to flaunt my active and fun sex life in front of you, when yours and Remus’ is so clearly dwindling.” Harry saw a dangerous glint in Sirius’ eyes at that, but wasn’t about to give up when he was clearly so close to winning this argument. In his head he was anyway. “I bet you can’t even get it up for him anymore. I kind of feel sorry for him.”

Even Draco, who had sat on the side lines and let Harry defend his honour, knowing it was stupid to get in his way, knew that he took it a step too far with that. “Um, Harry, maybe you should stop now-“

“Shut up Malfoy,” both Sirius and Harry said at the same time.

Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes to try to calm down. When he looked back at Harry he smiled in a pleasant way and said, not unkindly, “you know what, Harry? You’re exactly right. You’re young and free, you should be able to have sex when and wherever you want. By all means, continue, I was just going to put this shopping away and go to bed anyway.” And with that, Sirius picked up his discarded bag from earlier and walked to the kitchen, putting away the things he bought. 

Back in the room, Draco looked at Harry with worry who had a slightly terrified look on his face. Sirius never acted like that during an argument. He always had to win, and he went to any and all means to achieve that. “Well, I’m just going to go then if you and him are quite finished.”

That plucked Harry from his little daze and he grabbed Draco’s arm lightly, moving forward and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “We can just go up to my room, you know? We don’t have to do it here if you don’t want to.”

Draco stepped out of Harry’s embrace reluctantly. “No, Harry. I want them to like me. They’re your family and Sirius was right, we shouldn’t have done this here. I’m sure you can let out your sexual frustration in another way, Potter. Now let me go so I can get home before it’s too late.”

“Draco, it’s only nine. Please, you can stay here; we don’t have to have sex. We can just sit and watch a movie or something, I don’t know, just stay. For me, please? I don’t want you to be angry with me”

Draco just shook his head, “Like I said, I need to go, so I’ll see you later. I’m not angry at you I’m just tired.” He said, in an angry tone, as he walked towards the front door. “Do not follow me home.”

Harry sighed mournfully and watched Draco leave. He watched the door after Draco left, hoping that the stubborn boy would come to his senses and come running into Harry’s arms like he was doing in Harry’s head. It didn’t happen. After 15 minutes of staring at the door, he was forced to accept that he was going to be alone tonight, and he trudged to his room dramatically dragging his feet as he went. He flung himself down on the bed once he got to his room, next door to Sirius and Remus’. After about half an hour, he heard Sirius enter his own room, then nothing. He was left in silence and went asleep with nothing (or no one) else to do.

That is until his somewhat peaceful slumber was interrupted by a ridiculously loud moan coming from his godfathers’ room. Harry had hoped that it was just a moan of pain because Sirius had fallen out of bed or something, but that hope was very quickly destroyed when the moaning became much louder and the sound of a headboard banging against the wall joining his room to theirs was heard. The banging started off relatively quietly, but as time ticked by it got louder and quicker, accompanied by a series of curses coming from Sirius himself. Harry used a pillow to curl around his head and try to block out the sounds. Unfortunately, even through the pillow he could hear Sirius screaming Remus’ name and various phrases, like “harder,” or “right there,” or it seemed Sirius’ personal favourite, “Remus yes!” 

Harry knew that it was either this or going to the room and telling them to stop, only to get a visual to go with the noise. It then dawned upon him that he could put up his own silencing spell, since the bastard next door had obviously purposely not put one up. He got up and looked around the room, searching everywhere in his room where he could possibly have put it, and then he realised he must have left it downstairs. He groaned as he went in the corridor, where the sounds where only echoing on the walls, making him cover his ears while he walked down the stairs and into the living room. He searched for a good 20 minutes before giving up and sitting down on the floor, propped up against the old chair in the corner of the room, listening to his godfathers go at it like rabbits. It was then that Harry thought back to earlier and how long Sirius had taken to get upstairs… that sneaky arsehole stole his wand! Not only was he told off for having sex with his own boyfriend, in his own home, but now he was also forced to listen to Sirius and his husband fuck with no way of shutting them up? Oh, there was going to be hell to pay in the morning. Harry decided that he was just going to sleep in the living room tonight because it was the furthest he could get from the horrific and traumatising noises coming from the bedroom.

\-------

When Harry woke up, two smug grey eyes watching him from the sofa that he almost got off on greeted him. “Hello, Harry. I trust you slept well? After all you must have been worn out after you and Draco had all that sex, am I right Little Miss ‘active and fun sex life’?”

Harry huffed and got up, realising he had just fallen asleep with his glasses on so he had to straighten them out, making Sirius laugh that condescending laugh he did. “It wasn’t my fucking that kept me awake, you bastard. You knew exactly what you were doing!”

Sirius got up, dressed in one of Remus’ pj shirts, some boxer shorts and an old dressing gown, hair up in a loose bun, and laughed again at Harry. “Really, I thought I didn’t even know how to get it up for him anymore? Make up your mind, Harry. Maybe you’re really just jealous, because my husband wants to actually have sex with me, whereas your boyfriend practically bolted at the suggestion.” Sirius smirked as he said the last few words and watched Harry get riled up by the words, it was really too easy with this boy, he was just like James. 

“Actually, I’m inviting him round today so we can ruin your night-“

“Well I have to admire your persistence, Harry.” 

“Look, he’s not going to be mad at me forever and I’m actually really charming believe it or not, so there.”

It was at this point that Remus chose to stroll into the room, cradling a cup of tea in his hand and wearing the pj bottoms that clearly went with the shirt Sirius was wearing, and nothing else. His hair was all messed up, and his eyes were very tired, looking over the two in the living room and smiling softly, yet charmingly. The smile that Sirius woke up for. “Good morning, Harry.” And then he turned to Sirius. “Good morning, Love,” he said as he pulled Sirius in for his morning kiss, but it was more than their normal morning kiss. In fact it was much more. Remus’ spare hand had travelled down to cup Sirius’ arse as Sirius moaned encouragingly into Remus’ mouth. Remus put his cup down on the table and sat down on the sofa, pulling Sirius into his lap, never once letting their mouths disconnect. Harry hoped he and Draco would be that in sync one day, but then noticed that it was getting a bit out of hand when Remus’ hand crept beneath Sirius’ underwear and he started kneading his bare behind while snogging him for all he was worth.

Harry cleared his throat, but if anything, that seemed to just make them worse. Sirius moved his hands to Remus hair, tugging on the curls as he angled his face to make the kiss go deeper, and rotating his hips in Remus’ lap, earning a muffled groan from the other man. Remus would never behave like this in front of Harry unless…

“You’re in on it aren’t you? You knew he didn’t have a silencing charm up last night!” At this, Sirius and Remus finally pulled away from each other, Sirius grinning madly, and Remus looking indifferent to the boy’s rage. “I can’t believe you! I thought you were the mature one! I thought, if anyone, you could have talked some sense into him!”

“Harry, please calm down,” Remus said from his position on the sofa, “I know it’s very hard to believe, but I happen to have a very active and fun sex life too. You have chosen to insult that and Sirius, and for that, you must pay. I’m afraid that for the first time in my life, I’m with Sirius on this one.” Remus was blushing after his clearly rehearsed speech that Sirius probably made him give, and was trying to hide his face in Sirius’ neck when he looked away from Harry

“You’re both unbelievable.”

“Unbelievably sexy.” Sirius said, getting a light slap from Remus.

“Whatever, I’m going to see Draco, and I am coming back tonight, and I will get you back for this.” Harry said as he ran up to his room and slammed his door behind him, getting ready to go and beg forgiveness from Draco.

Sirius and Remus both laughed to each other on the sofa, pressing their foreheads together. “I swear he’s a miniature Prongs, I haven’t seen a James-tantrum in ages!” Sirius said, making Remus chuckle and pull him closer.

“It’ll pass though, always did. Looking after a teenager is hard. I don’t know if psychologically scarring him is the way to go about it but-“

“Well, Mr. Lupin it was you idea in the first place.”

“You’re right, Mr. Lupin I suppose it was,” Remus said while placing a kiss on Sirius’ cheek.

\-------

Last Night…

Remus looked up from where he was laid peacefully on the bed when he saw Sirius walk in, looking furious. Another argument with Harry, then. He watched Sirius storm around the room for a couple of minutes, trying to get the other man’s attention. Remus knew that this could go on for hours, so eventually he just sighed and put his book down on the bedside table, being careful to leave it open on the page he was up to. He folded his hands in his lap, and looked up at his husband. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know who he thinks he is!” Straight into it then, okay. “I come home from a long days shopping to find him on the sofa, our sofa, all but shagging his boyfriend! They were naked, Remus, Naked!”

“Naked, right. So?”

“So? What- how- So?! Remus, that is a serious breach of boundaries. They can’t just do it everywhere! They need to learn to keep it in their damn pants! I fucking love that bloody sofa!”

Remus watched Sirius as he breathed deeply and gestured at him, trying to convey his point and how serious it was. Sirius was clearly more frustrated than Remus thought he should be. There must be more to this, or he would have just shouted at Harry and got over it with a stern telling off. Remus got up and walked over to the other man, putting a hand on his cheek and kissing his head softly. “Are you going to tell me what’s really wrong? Or I am I going to have to tickle it out of you?”

For a second, Sirius looked genuinely terrified, “You wouldn’t.”

“You know I would.”

“Well… it shouldn’t bother me as much as it did, it’s stupid.” Sirius pushed his face into the crook of Remus’ neck so he wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes when he confessed what was really bugging him. “It’s just that Harry said that he feels sorry for you because I’m not good enough, and you’re going to get bored of me, because I can’t even make love to you anymore. Not properly anyway. I know that he said it in the heat of the moment but I don’t know Remus, what if he’s right? What if you get bored of me because I get old and decrepit and can’t give you a boner?”

Of all the things Remus was expecting, it was not for Sirius Black to be having doubts about his sex life. Sure, he was insecure, but he was never not confident when it came to sex, well not since they had first done it, but that was just nerves. “Sirius, you do know that I’m not with you because of your ability to get a hard-on, right? I mean, yours is not even the biggest I’ve seen-“

“Show off”

“-yes, well, anyway, I love you. And I will always love you, even when you’re old and gross, and need help walking across the room, and can’t remember my name. I’ll still be here because I love you, not just the sex. Though that is a very high point I must admit, we both knew it couldn’t last forever. So, I guess we should make the most of it while we still can.” He laughed and pulled Sirius’ face up so they were looking at each other, then kissed him as passionately as he could. 

They stood like that for a while, leisurely snogging, until Sirius pulled away and smiled at Remus. “I appreciate all that mushy sentiment, Remus, I really do. But, do you know what would make me really feel better?”

“Payback time?”

“Payback time.” 

“Well, I have a few ideas… How about we start with this one?” Remus asked as he easily picked up Sirius and threw him down onto their bed and pouncing on to of him, getting ready to show Harry just how wrong he was…

\-------

 

After Harry stormed out of the house in search of Draco, ignoring the pair on the sofa when he walked past and slammed the door on his exit, Sirius gave Remus a concerned look. “Do you think we took it a bit too far?”

Remus was surprised by that. Sirius never thought about his actions, it was a major part of why he was such an idiot. A major part of why he fallen in love with him. He was care free and didn’t care about what people thought of him, yet here he was fretting over Harry and what he thought. Remus found it oddly endearing how much Sirius cared about Harry. “Sirius Orion Black, do not give me that. When have you ever cared about taking things too far?”

“I know it’s just, I don’t want him to hate me or anything.”

“Sirius, he could never hate you. He loves you. In fact, you’re too complacent, I personally think he needs to be taught a lesson.”

Sirius shifted a bit in Remus’ lap and looked down at him quizzically. “What are you suggesting?” 

“Oh, me? I wasn’t suggesting a thing, just saying that you’ve lost your touch a little bit, that’s all.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Remus fixed Sirius with a look that said ‘come on , I know you know’ but explained anyway, “Sirius, you fucked me on James’ bed because he used your tissue when he wanked over Lily.”

“Ok, number one that was a hand embroidered handkerchief-“

“That’s gay. Even for you.”

“-and secondly, he deserved it because it was very dear to me, it was the third thing I ever stole!” Sirius then pushed Remus’ chest when he realised just what the interruption had been and whined, “I’m only as gay as you are.”

“That’s true, but there you go see. You were once willing to psychologically scar James and break his headboard over a stolen snot rag, but Harry fucks someone on your very own antique sofa and that’s completely fine.”

Sirius sat up and with a determined glint in his eye looked dramatically off into the distance. “My god, Remus. You’re exactly right.”

“I’m never wrong-“

“I have become soft in my old age!”

“You’re barely 37.”

“And it must be stopped! I must reclaim my dignity, and bring honour upon the noble name of Lupin! It is a battle that has been long coming my dear wife, and we must fight this together, for it is not only a battle of mind, but a battle of love and respect!”

“Please stop. I’m getting second hand embarrassment.”

“So, Mister Moony, will join me once again? Will you join me in the fight against the minds of the youth (well one youth in particular)? Yay or nay?”

“If I say yes will you stop?”

Sirius considered this for a second. “Yes.”

“Then yes, I will join you my brave and noble knight. So, how are we going to do this?”

“Oh, I know exactly how…”

\-------

“Are you sure this isn’t too far, Remus? What if it actually scars him for life?”

“Trust me, Pads it won’t hurt him that much. Besides, I’ve had my payback for having to listen to him and Draco get it on from our bedroom, and now it’s only fair for you to get yours. I mean, you saw them naked and-“

“Yes, okay I guess you’re right.” Needless to say, that was all the persuasion Sirius needed to not be mature. It never did take much with him.

\-------

A couple of hours later, Harry was pulling Draco through the door to the house, ready to get back at his godfathers for what they did to him last night. However, when they got past the front door, they were greeted with a sight that would haunt them for years to come. Remus, face flushed and moaning shamelessly, was bent over the piano in the living room, hands bound, covered in love bites, being thoroughly fucked by Sirius, who was looking very pleased with himself. The piano was creaking beneath them with the force of Sirius’ thrusts, but he still didn’t stop. 

Neither of them noticed the boys straight away, having gotten a bit carried away, and forgetting the whole point of this in the first place. It was only when Draco bolted to Harry’s room and slammed the door that the two men looked up. Sirius stopped moving immediately, making Remus whine involuntarily and flush a darker shade at seeming so needy. Sirius, however, had no shame as he just smirked at the boy, still buried inside Remus, and spoke, “good afternoon, Harry. Been a wonderful day don’t you think?”

Harry opened his mouth to formulate a witty come back but found that he was just mouthing like a fish and closed it again. He then quickly turned away so that he could find his voice without looking at the men. “I can never look at a piano again.”

“Well, there goes your rising musical career. How shall you survive?”

“Sirius, please! How can you be so calm while you’re… you’re doing that? On the piano that we all use when we’re together and- oh…”

“So, you get it now? Well, you be should thanking me, Prongslet, for I have just taught you an important life lesson. A lesson that you shall keep with you till the grave. A lesson that will be passed on through gen-“

“As much as I’d love to hear the end of this riveting conversation,” Remus said from the piano, “I am pressed against a very cold surface, naked, hard, and with a dick up my arse. So, if you could just please, this once, save the dramatics for another time, I would very much appreciate that.”

Harry blushed at that, and said, “you’re right though, Sirius. I guess it was wrong that we tried to shag in the middle of the house when we could have had the privacy of our bedroom. I’m sorry”

Sirius nodded his head, even though Harry wasn’t watching him, and Remus just groaned, wondering how he survived so far with these idiots. “That’s very mature of you Harry,” Sirius started, “I’m proud of you. This is a moment that should be catalogued for future-“ Sirius would have finished but was cut off with a moan as Remus unexpectedly and impatiently rolled his hips back into Sirius. “Right well, I think you’ve learned your lesson, go and talk to your boyfriend while I teach my dear werewolf that it’s rude to interrupt a man in the middle of a great speech.”

“Gladly.” Harry said as he raced up the stairs to his room.


	2. It's Remus' turn for payback

After Harry shut the door, he quickly rounded on Draco. “We need to retaliate.”

“Forgive me, Harry, but are you actually insane?”

“Just hear me out, okay? I’ve had to witness that inappropriateness three times for what we did, and I hardly think that’s fair! Sirius only caught us kissing on a sofa for fucks sake-”

“Well we were naked and-“

“-irrelevant. My point is that what we need to do here is fight fire with fire. They fuck on the grand piano, we fuck on something even better, even more unexpected.”

Draco stared open mouthed at his boyfriend for a while before slowly sighing. “You’ve been smuggling Gillyweed again haven’t you?” Then he got up and put his best lecturing face on, pointing an accusatory finger on Harry.

“Draco-“

“What did I tell you about-“

“Draco I haven’t been smoking any-“

“You’ll could grow extra fingers and then what? They’d be calling you Harry seven fingers and I’m not being introduced as Mr. Seven Fingers when we get married, Harry, because I have this thing called ‘dignity’ that you clearly haven’t heard of and-“

“Draco, calm down.” Harry walked over to his boyfriend and put his hands on either shoulder to stop the pacing and kissed his cheek. “Nobody is going to call you that you little psycho so just chill out, alright? All I’m saying is that a bit of revenge would do us some good.”

“You want payback? When you started it?” Draco raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“It wouldn’t have been a thing at all if Sirius hadn’t blown it out of proportion by fucking his husband in the living room for our beautifully virginal eyes to be soiled by.”

“I’d hardly say virginal, Potter, you’re a right perv.”

“Bite me.”

“And a kinky one at that.” Harry rolled his eyes but refused to let this drop. It was just as he was thinking of this that he heard a particularly load shout of ‘Sirius!’ followed by a painful sounding slap that echoed off the walls, and then the distinct sound of wood breaking, though the moans never ceased. He would win this, if it was the last thing he did.

“Please? I won’t ask you for anything else I promise.”

“You won’t ask for anything else until the next time you ask you mean.”

“You’ve got me there.”

Draco huffed and rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. “Fine. What do you propose we do then?”

………………………………

When Remus woke up, his eyes felt heavy because no matter how late he went to sleep, he always woke up early. This time though, he had been jolted out of his sleep by something hard shifting to press against his arse. 

With a frustrated huff, he turned to his husband, who had been spooned behind him and kissed him delicately on the nose. Remus would like to say that Sirius looked his best while sleeping, because the lazy bastard spent half of his time doing just that, but unfortunately it wasn’t exactly his best looking moment. If he was taking a nap, he looked peaceful, serene, calm and well frankly gorgeous, but after a night of tossing and turning, he looked anything but. His hair was messy, sticking up in all directions, his mouth was slightly parted, just barely not drooling everywhere and his face was half smushed into the pillow. He also often snored.

“Pads?” Remus asked quietly. “You need to get up because I’m awake and we’re a couple so we’re in this together.” Sirius just replied with a small, admittedly cute snort and closed his mouth. “I’m sorry for this, Siri.” Remus pulled a lock of Sirius’ hair quickly and closed his eyes when he saw Sirius lift his head and open his eyes slowly.

“Moony? You awake?”

“I am now.” He smiled, then kissed Sirius on the mouth. This was when Sirius looked good on a morning, when his face wasn’t pressed into the pillow, and his mouth was closed. He smiled sleepily at Remus and Remus smiled back at Sirius’ adorable morning innocence. His grey eyes were tired but still looked at Remus with awe and love, like always. He put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for another lazy snog and grimaced when he pulled away. “Your mouth tastes like shit.”

“You say the sweetest things.” Sirius said, reminding Remus that no matter the time of day, Sirius’ wit was still sharp as ever.

Remus huffed a laugh and got up, throwing the quilt from both of them as he got up. “I’m going for a shower.” He then nodded towards the tent in Sirius’ boxers. “Care to join me?”

Sirius looked down at his crotch and made a surprised face as he realised he was hard, as if he hadn’t just been dreaming of fucking Remus. “Well I think that would be best. After all, what kind of shepherd would I be if I didn’t take care of the big bad wolf?”

“That’s dirty. You’re dirty. You’re a dirty person.” Sirius grinned and got up, latching himself into Remus quickly and licking up his neck. “Eugh!” Remus laughed as he protested, trying to push away Sirius’ face as he continued to try to lick him. Remus closed his eyes when Sirius managed to get past his swiping hands and licked from his cheek to his forehead. “That’s so gross!” Sirius chuckled and nuzzled Remus’ neck then kissed along his collarbone, nibbling gin the appropriate places. “We haven’t even made it to the shower yet, Padfoot you filthy mutt.”

“We never do.” He smiled mischievously and moved his hands down Remus’ back to grab his arse and squeeze. “Oh god I’ll never get tired of your arse, Moony.”

“Thank you I grew it myself.”

They both giggled childishly at that, before Remus pried off Sirius’ hands and walked over to the bathroom, beckoning Sirius to follow him, and Sirius didn’t need to be asked twice.

…………………………

“Oh my god are they at it again?” Draco asked, incredulously. “I don’t think I can keep this up much longer Harry. From experience, we both know they can last a long time.”

Harry lifted his head and said, “Not on mornings.”

“…I don’t want to know how you know that.”

……………………...... 

A mere twenty minutes later, Sirius came sauntering downstairs to the kitchen, shit eating grin on his face that was quickly wiped from his expression when he walked into the kitchen. He immediately turned away and bumped into Remus who looked at him curiously before walking straight into the kitchen and stopping when he saw the scene before him. Draco was sat bare arsed on the table, his jeans and pants around his ankles as Harry kneeled in front of him sucking him off. “Don’t worry, Pads I’ve got this one.” He whispered. Instead of bolting like his coward husband would have, he simply cleared his throat to make his presence known then when the boys didn’t stop, walked over to the kettle and filled it with water, pretending like he didn’t know what was going on while he made his tea. He even turned the radio on to a smooth jazz station which played a brilliant tune for him to mull around the kitchen obliviously to. When he had made his tea however, and found that the boys had stopped to stare at him curiously, he smiled pleasantly.

“What are you so happy about?” Harry asked, frustrated that his plan hadn’t worked.

“Well Harry I would be mad if that wasn’t the table me and Sirius used to christen the kitchen, but the fact of the matter is, there’s not a surface in this room nor this house in fact that hasn’t has one or both of your godfather’s fucked against it, so it doesn’t really matter to me where you fuck him. I’d just prefer if you told me in advance next time so that I could drink my tea in peace.” Remus said calmly, keeping his polite smile in place. “Oh and try not to use too much saliva Harry it’s a real mood killer when your boyfriend slobbers all over you.” He then winked and Harry saw that marauding glint in his eye as he walked off to the stunned Sirius in the doorway and slapped his arse, then, to the surprise of both Harry and Draco, and even Sirius, Remus put his tea on the table and pushed Sirius against the doorway and kissed him hungrily, putting a hand up Sirius’ shirt and his thigh between Sirius’ legs to rub against him.

When he pulled away from his husband he took a deep breath and shook his head, releasing his sigh and shivering as if the small display of passionate lust was refreshing. He felt all three pairs of eyes in the kitchen on him, but avoided them all as he picked his tea back up and swayed away from the kitchen in sync with the jazz, with Sirius’ eyes glued to his arse and the other boys looking at him in shock and embarrassment.

The moment he was gone, Draco slipped off of the table and pulled up his pants and jeans, did up his belt and ran from the house, red-faced and mortified of being put into that situation by his boyfriend, but he just couldn’t say no to those gorgeous green puppy dog eyes. They were his biggest weakness.

Harry stood up and looked at Sirius staring at Remus’ arse and then got his attention by coughing loudly. “What the fuck was that?”

“I have no idea.” Sirius replied, awe in his voice. “But please, Harry, feel free to make him do it again.”

“Are you fucking kidding, I’ll be lucky if Draco sets another foot in this house after that. Have you guys really you know… everywhere?’

“Mostly.”

“That’s disgusting!”

“What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.”

“What are you going to do now I do know?”

“We scourgified it all, so it’s not like got dried c-“

“Don’t say it.” Harry glared at Sirius.

“I don’t know what you’re mad at me for, he did it.”

“I bet you had something to do with it. You always do.”

Sirius spluttered a bit then huffed and pouted. How, after all this time, after THAT, did people think Remus was the innocent little werewolf that had no part in any mischief. How did Sirius still get the blame.

“Oh fuck this, I’m going to chase him. Again. Listen, could you tell Remus I’m sorry, and that I won’t do it again.” The sincerity in Harry’s apology this time made Sirius surprised and a little offended that it wasn’t directed at him the first time. Sirius just nodded dumbly, and Harry raced off, leaving him to go to the living room and see Remus sitting with his tea as he always did, as if nothing happened.

“Remus… What the fuck?”

“Well you had your turn and I wanted a go. Worked didn’t it?”

Sirius made an incredulous laugh. “You’re mental!”

“Maybe.” Remus smiled and stood up. “But I’m the Alpha of this house.”

“Oh is that so?”

“Are opposing me? Do you need to be taught a lesson too? Because that can certainly be arranged.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

…………………………

“Have you finally given up then?” Draco asked, laughing.

“Yeah, I think it’s time we got our own apartment. Lord knows I can’t look at the furniture in that place the same ever again.” Harry said, smiling. Draco chuckled and kissed Harry chastely on the cheek.

“I think you’re right.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, please feel free to tell me if I've made any mistakes :)


End file.
